This weekend in a group of friends another mom caught me off guard with an unexpected compliment. She said, “Julie, I just love to watch you watch your kids. I mean we all love our kids but when you look at your kids I can just see that love all over your face.”
My initial response was sheepish embarrassment. I felt like I had been “caught.” The truth is that I had been gazing at my 14 year old daughter as she chatted with a bunch of her swim team buddies and I was indeed marveling at her as only a mom can do. But after I recovered from that sheepish embarrassment I admitted to this mom that this obvious delight I display while looking at my kids is really a beautiful left over gift of infertility.
Yes, I am actually grateful for my nightmarish 6+ year bout with infertility. While there were certainly negatives that came from it (many of you know those only too well so I won’t belabor them here), I cannot deny the positives. Sixteen years into our parenting experience my husband and I truly still marvel at the fact that we have three kids. Yes they drive us crazy! Yes, we have many moments that parenting makes us want to tear our hair out. Yes, we have been faced with some parenting challenges that have been daunting to say the least; but we spent just a long enough time in our life waiting to be parents and thinking that we might not that I can still accidentally get caught gazing at our kids and thinking- “Wow—I’m their mom!” And for that–I really am grateful!