Archive for the ‘infertility’ Category

The Day After Mother’s Day

May 14, 2012

Mother’s Day can be one of the hardest holidays to get through while waiting to adopt. I remember crying my way through many holidays during the years of infertility and then waiting for my son to come home.

If you are a woman waiting for motherhood, how did you get through the day?

For those of you who waited and are finally mothering, what advice can you give those who are still waiting? What helped you through the hard days?


Mother’s Day, Infertility and Other Waiting Mothers

May 7, 2010

Mother’s Day was once the most painful day of the year for me. There was a time when I struggled with infertility and then that one horrible year when my baby boy was waiting in a Russian orphanage.

Julie and I have talked about this often and she may chime in on this with her own perspective… but even now with 14 years worth of Mother’s Days as an active mom with kids in my home, I still find it to be a bittersweet day.

On Mother’s Day, many of us in the adoption community think of the women who actually mothered their child–birth mothers, foster mothers, orphanage staff workers… or even the child’s birth giver if she didn’t actually “mother” after the child was born.

It’s not that I don’t think of those “mothers” but my heart is really with the women who are longing to be mothers but who are confronted with a roadblock of some sort. (more…)

Thank you, Infertility!

March 15, 2010

This weekend in a group of friends another mom caught me off guard with an unexpected compliment.  She said, “Julie, I just love to watch you watch your kids.  I mean we all love our kids but when you look at your kids I can just see that love all over your face.” 

My initial response was sheepish embarrassment.  I felt like I had been “caught.”  The truth is that I had been gazing at my 14 year old daughter as she chatted with a bunch of her swim team buddies and I was indeed marveling at her as only a mom can do.  But after I recovered from that sheepish embarrassment I admitted to this mom that this obvious delight I display while looking at my kids is really a beautiful left over gift of infertility. 

Yes, I am actually grateful for my nightmarish 6+ year bout with infertility.   While there were certainly negatives that came from it (many of you know those only too well so I won’t belabor them here), I cannot deny the positives.  Sixteen years into our parenting experience my husband and I truly still marvel at the fact that we have three kids.  Yes they drive us crazy!  Yes, we have many moments that parenting makes us want to tear our hair out.  Yes, we have been faced with some parenting challenges that have been daunting to say the least; but we spent just a long enough time in our life waiting to be parents and thinking that we might not that I can still accidentally get caught  gazing at our kids and thinking-  “Wow—I’m their mom!”    And for that–I really am grateful! 

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