We talk a lot about how important pull close parenting is for our kids and many of you will remember my emphasis on pull close parenting for even teenagers in my recent blog post. Today I’m thinking about how important pull close parenting is not just for our kids, but for us as parents as well. It really has the ability to recharge our batteries just when we need it. Yesterday I got my battery recharged.
My family has used a version of “Two Stars and a Wish” as a dinner time conversation and family relationship building tool for years. When I (or another family member) suggests the activity everyone at the table thinks of two positives (stars) and one “wish” for every other family member. A wish cannot be a put down but it can be a wish for more positive behavior. (Example: Sister wish to brother: “I wish you would not go into my room without my permission.”) Then we go around the table and share. Sometimes the game inspires laughter and sometimes serious conversations. We make it a commitment to try to be grateful for whatever stars we are offered and thoughtful (not angry) about whatever wishes are offered.
Truth be told, yesterday when we started the game I wondered what the wishes for me would be. I’ve been parenting very close to the hip lately and while I know the benefits of that parenting, I also know that it is harder for the children to always understand those benefits. Turns out I didn’t have to worry at all. Below you will see my eleven year old son’s two stars and a wish for me yesterday. Battery recharged. (And yes we’re having brownies today.)
Tags: adoption, Adoptive Parenting, bonding, caregiving, close proximity parenting, general parenting, international adoption, new adoptive parents, older child adoption, parenting, parenting the issue, positive parenting, pull close parenting, re-parenting, reparenting, Time In