British Struggling with Transracial Adoption Issues

I just read a really interesting article about transracial adoptions (or rather, the policy against transracial adoptions) in the British foster care system.   What do you think?

Heart of the Matter Seminars

Attachment Style Facebook-ing

I just read this article from BBC News on the use of Facebook and other online technology in classrooms.   I think this is pretty great, except for this part:

“Teachers setting up Facebook accounts should not befriend pupils, rather allow the children to take the initiative, Prof Heppell advises. They should not read their pupils’ Facebook pages and should never chat via instant message.”

Now, I don’t necessarily think teachers and students should chat via instant message, mostly to protect the teacher, but I do think that it’s important for kids to know that there is an adult presence even in cyberspace.

Martin Luther King Day and International Adoption

The sermon at church yesterday was focused on some of the principles that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stood for.   During that 20 or 30 minutes, I was struck by how parts of it are relevant to the state of international adoptions today–not in terms of race, (even though it is, of course!) but in terms of human rights.

Our pastor spoke of two particular evils that Dr. King fought against and that we all need to continue to fight against:  Intolerance and Indifference.  He pointed out that these are really just two sides of the same coin and here is how I see them playing out in the area of international adoption.

Two Stars and a Wish: Pull Close Parenting Recharges Parents Too

We talk a lot about how important pull close parenting is for our kids and many of you will remember my emphasis on pull close parenting for even teenagers in my recent blog post.  Today I’m thinking about how important pull close parenting is not just for our kids, but for us as parents as well.  It really  has the ability to  recharge our batteries just when we need it.   Yesterday I got my battery recharged.

My family has used a version of “Two Stars and a Wish” as a dinner time conversation and family relationship building tool for years.  When I (or another family member) suggests the activity everyone at the table thinks of two positives (stars) and one “wish” for every other family member.  A wish cannot be a put down but it can be a wish for more positive behavior.  (Example:  Sister wish to brother:  “I wish you would not go into my room without my permission.”)  Then we go around the table and share.  Sometimes the game inspires laughter and sometimes serious conversations.  We make it a commitment to try to be grateful for whatever stars we are offered and thoughtful (not angry) about whatever wishes are offered.

Amazing Brains!

I watched a story on Nightline last night that talked about individuals who have healed from traumatic brain injuries. (video is here and a text summary is here)   While this piece was spurred by the Tuscon tragedy and Rep. Giffords’ injuries, its main focus was really on our brains’ incredible capacity to heal and re-work itself after injuries.

I found the topic to be incredibly hopeful for those of us parenting or working with kids who had less than optimal experiences early in life.  In Because They Waited we talk about the neurological consequences of neglect, deprivation, chaos or abuse early in life.  We also spend a great deal of time talking about how to really put the “use it or lose it” concept into practice in our every day life.

Those of you who have completed Because They Waited will likely find the Nightline piece encouraging and a boost to your own efforts to promote positive brain development through your everyday life.  If you haven’t yet completed Because They Waited, I’d encourage you to use it to learn more about brain development and children who have spent time in less than optimal care before entering their homes.