Archive for July, 2010

Stop going to the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread! Advice for adoptive parents…

July 27, 2010

Adoptive parents benefit from relationships with other adoptive parents,  especially when both  families have children with similar backgrounds.  So what does that have to do with bread and hardware stores?

My sister called an important revelation to my attention this week.  She told me that she and I had to stop going to the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread.   In the context of our conversation she was referring to how we both tend to expect our husbands to magically emote and communicate the way we do with each other.  This of course is as ridiculous as trying to buy a loaf of bread at a hardware store.  It’s even more ridiculous when you think about the fact that we can meet those needs for each other as sisters.  She shares so many of my same life experiences!  It’s more like looking for bread in a bakery if you will.

This led me to think about how often adoptive parents “look for bread in a hardware store.”  Here are just two examples… (more…)

Bullying, Empathy and Babies

July 21, 2010

At first glance, bullying, empathy and babies do not seem to be connected and yet they are incredibly interconnected.  I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about our neighbor’s baby and empathy for awhile, but work and family commitments have kept me (and Julie) off our blog for awhile.  But as I was eating lunch and surfing the web I found an article in Time Magazine that made me login here and start blogging! (more…)

“So How Busy Are You? Really?”

July 7, 2010

Just read a thought-provoking blog post that I wanted to share.

It made me think not only in terms of general lifestyle, but in a more micro level in terms of interactions with my two kids.  I’m afraid that one of the phrases they hear much too often is, “Hold on just a minute…”  Or, “Wait a sec while I finish this.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with either of these statements.  In fact, this is part of how our kids learn impulse control and the ability to self-regulate their emotions.  But, the writer’s post challenged me to think about how often my kids hear it–are they getting the message that this specific moment is really an inopportune moment or are they hearing it often enough that the message is really “other things come first”….

I’m going to pay attention and report back to you….

Same Song, Different Verse–Distinguishing Needs

July 6, 2010

Our 4th of July started out and ended a bit rocky.  (Fortunately, there was a ton of good stuff in between.)  Although some of the behaviors looked very similar the need and therefore, my response, was very different.

Olivia's dramatic attempt at looking "scared"

At the start of our 4th of July festivities, Olivia was working hard at being dramatic about the fireworks and specifically, the noise.  She was “scared!” (supposedly) and was working her way from drama to truly psyching herself out.  So, what was the need? (more…)


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