Archive for April, 2010

What Not to Do (parenting)

April 27, 2010

Although in my profession I provide adoption education and information about what I believe to be overall good parenting, I truly try to turn off the work stuff when I’m not working.  This is tough given that I live what I work since I am parenting two kids.  It’s also tough because it’s not like you can get away from other people who are parenting–at least not in the places I am likely to frequent with my own child/ren in tow.

Anyway, I really do try to just live my life and not obsess on parenting technique but something happened in Target earlier this week that made me cringe, sigh and want to immediately provide a free, live seminar in the middle of the store!  LOL (more…)

Adoptive Families are REAL! (Just ask my fourteen year old!)

April 25, 2010

My 14 year old has become an indignant defender of positive adoption language.  Of course this tickles me to death.  The best part is that she is actually quite fearless in whom she will take on in this debate.  Check out the situations she has found herself in just during middle school. (more…)

Step 4: The final piece of “Ease” into Parent Planning

April 17, 2010

I started this series on parent planning before the shocking news of the Hansen adoption story broke.  Although we have all been understandably distracted by this story and the tragic consequences of it, I think it is even more important than ever that we highlight parent planning.  Sadly, the Hansen family had no parenting plan and either did not reach out for help or did not get the help they needed in creating an effective one.

That being said:  Here’s Step 4 in “Ease into Parent Planning” (more…)

Ordinary as Extraordinary (take 2)

April 15, 2010

Our 4 year old, Olivia, has been fighting pneumonia for about a week and a half now.  I won’t bore you with blow by blow details of a trip to the ER, two rounds of antibiotics, etc…  but I do want to take a moment to describe one of the side effects of her illness. (more…)

Julie’s Thoughts on Hansen Adoption Mess

April 13, 2010

Katie offered the rational professional thoughts about the Torry Hansen adoption case.  Of course she is right, and yet I’m still left needing to vent or scream or SOMETHING!

This case is quite frankly making me crazy.  Maybe because I spend every day of my professional life trying sincerely to educate adoptive parents, or maybe because I am MOM to a now grown child (adopted at 6 from a Russian orphanage) that but for the grace of God could have been this little boy, I simply cannot stop thinking about this case!  The mother bear in me is loud and strong in my head. (more…)

Looking for Answers–Hansen adoption disaster

April 12, 2010

Like anyone connected to the adoption world, I’ve been sickened, shocked, saddened and thinking a LOT about the horrific news story about Torry Hansen who (with her mother, Nancy) put the son she adopted on a plane and sent him back to Russia.

No matter which version of the story you read, you’ll find a common thread.  Horror, yes.  Disbelief, yes.  But also many questions that basically all ask, “Who is to blame?” (more…)

Setting Long and Short Term Parenting Goals: Step 3 in “EASE” into Parent Planning

April 8, 2010

Goal setting is an important and serious step.  This is where I think a lot of us struggle.  We often do a lot of talking (and worrying)  about things that might be wrong or might potentially go wrong but then fall short when it comes to actually planning for them or addressing them . (more…)

“EASE” into Parent Planning Step 2

April 6, 2010

One of the things that my husband and I did early on in our parenting experience (16 years ago) was attend a seminar put on by parents of post institutionalized children and the professional community that serves them.  We actually did it on a whim, or maybe I should say a gut feeling.

At the time, we were just becoming adjusted to life on one income instead of two.  We had just adopted our then 6 year old daughter from an orphanage in Russia, and I had just left my teaching job to stay home with her.  Flying off for a weekend stay in a hotel and paying fees to attend a seminar were not easy choices, and yet I was hungry to educate myself about how my child’s beginning in life might be affecting her. (more…)

“EASE” into Parent Planning

April 4, 2010

Many families we talk to express interest in parent planning but find it difficult to get started.  One way to EASE into parent planning is to break down the task into four steps.

  • Educate yourself
  • Analyze your child’s needs
  • Set long and short term goals
  • Evaluate your progress and plan regularly

We’ll take time to address each of these 4 steps in upcoming blog posts, but for now we are going to focus simply on education. (more…)


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