It is challenging to manage any child’s bid for power, but for those of us dealing with a child who has limited trust and therefore a heightened need to control, that challenge can be exhausting.
A few weeks ago a group of parents got together with us online to discuss power struggles and managing bids for power with kids who have a strong need to control. We talked about positive parenting strategies for managing kids’ bids for power and even brainstormed ideas for specific issues our group was struggling with at the time.
Our participants on that day shared with us some things they wanted to be reminded of a few weeks down the road. I was looking over the list today and decided that most of us could use reminding about most of these things so I decided to share the list via blog so we could all benefit. For those of you who participated I hope that seeing the list reminds you of what you’re working on and inspires you to make today a purposeful parenting day. Thanks for all your great input!
- to give clear directions instead of making requests when dealing with my control seeking child
- to maintain my competency even if it means an issue might lasts a bit longer
- to maintain a nurturing attitude and tone while managing my child’s bid for power
- to be on top of my game (parenting with purpose and using what I know)
- to use actions not words when dealing with a bid for power
- not to banter because banter can turn a bid for power into a power struggle
- to stay on top of positive parenting now to set my child up for success now and later
- to parent from my feet not my seat
- that what I am doing really can make a positive difference even as I struggle through
If you weren’t part of the group but want to learn more about managing your child’s bid for power check out our recorded course.
Tags: adoption, Adoptive Parenting, bid for power, control issues, controlling kids, dicipline, general parenting, international adoption, new adoptive parents, older child adoption, positive parenting, power struggles, trust