Archive for February, 2010

Article on Attachment and Bonding

February 24, 2010

Laura Willard interviewed me for an article she was writing on attachment, bonding and adoption for an article on   Check it out!


Snow, ice and parenting

February 22, 2010

Here in Kansas City we are sick of winter!  We just had another round of ice and snow last night and many of us are beginning to think that global warming doesn’t sound that that bad of an idea after all.

As I was grumbling around in my head this morning, wondering when we will see an end to this weather, it occurred to me that this is kind of like parenting.  While we are “in a stage” whether that is potty training, transitioning a child into their own bed, whining, a child wanting to be carried constantly, a child who never wants to be carried, or whatever… it seems like it will never end. (more…)


February 18, 2010

It’s interesting how everyday life gives us little reminders of what we believe about child development and parenting. For Katie this week it was a trip through the Barnes and Noble check out line. For me it was sitting in my mom’s hospital room yesterday after her knee surgery and chatting with her roommate. (more…)

Public Tantruming

February 13, 2010

Our family was at Barnes & Noble yesterday evening.  As O. and I were making our way to the checkout we (and the whole store) heard this horrendous, gutteral screaming and crying begin accompanied by such phrases as, “NO!  BUT I WANT IT!!!  AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!” (more…)

Start Somewhere–Just Start!

February 13, 2010
I used to be an avid scrapbooker.  My son D. has volumes of scrapbooks I made from the day he came home until he was about 9 years old–that’s when I got pregnant with his sister and all bets were off for quite a while.

Now O. is 4 years old and while her brother has a virtual library ranging from the typical pictures of first haircut all the way to events only a mother would care to remember (like 5-year-old D. with a box on his head) O. only had a pretty pink scrapbook with three puny pages done.

Have I been busy for 4+years?  Sure… working (mostly from home) while parenting will keep anyone busy.  Julie and I have been especially busy over the last couple of years as we’ve worked to expand what Heart of the Matter Seminars offers to parents.  But that wasn’t the real reason my scrapbook stuff just sat collecting dust.  The real reason is that it became overwhelming.

Whenever I started to work on Olivia’s pages I would just be overwhelmed by the stacks of pictures that were unorganized, the pictures that were still on the computer, pens whose ink had run dry, and most distressing, a file of pictures spanning about 4 months of her first year that were somehow erased.  I wasn’t sure what problem to start with!  So, I would turn my attention to something else.  The pictures kept collecting (along with the dust!) and it became even more overwhelming as I fell farther behind.

I think that sometimes parenting can be the same way.   (more…)

New trauma course: Understanding Trauma in Children

February 10, 2010

We finally got our course called “Understanding Trauma in Children” up and running.  This is not a new topic for Heart of the Matter Seminars, it’s just that other topics and webinars were taking up our time and trauma kept getting pushed to the back burner.  When we collaborated to bring a free webinar featuring Dr. Bruce Perry to families adopting or awaiting placement of a child from Haiti, it spurred us to get busy and put our course together. (more…)

Sleep Question

February 1, 2010

We recently received an email from a mom asking questions about sleep issues and thought others might be interested  as well.  Since Katie is currently sleep deprived from parenting a not yet transitioned 4 year old at night I refused to let her answer.  LOL!

You can read below an excerpt from the mom’s email and my response.  We’d love to hear from others too!


We adopted my son (now, we think, almost two and a half) and his biological sister (now five) from Ethiopia (more…)

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